Owning It

Things that got me thinking about sexuality and age:
Tango in Her Eyes: http://tangoinhereyes.blogspot.com/ Entry titled "The Portenos v.s The Others"
This article in the Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/08/AR2008020801607.html

I mean, those things, plus the fact that I am "old" and not dead. Young readers may stop here if the idea of people over thirty having sex is unpleasant for you. Tango in her Eyes was writing about women "owning their sexuality", and was not focused on age, necessarily The WP article was about the difference between American women and French women, and about owning one's sexuality for the duration, as is the way in France. Apparently American women are not having much sex after age forty, and after fifty it is pretty sad, and just forget about it after that. French women are still having sex on a regular basis until they die.

What is going on in America? When I am out around town I see women, often two or three together. The women I see are generally rich. They have access to the most beautiful clothes, the best stylists, the finest cosmetics and perfumes. But they wear khaki pants from J.C Pennys, socks and sandals. It seem that they don't want to be seduced or to seduce. Why? do we just give up because we are not twenty years old? Because we are not a size 00? Because no one is looking? Everyone is alone here. So why bother? No wonder.

Also women in America have been sold a bill of goods by the medical and pharmaceutical syndicate which lies to us about our sexuality and tries to tell us that we are not real or desirable women without their drugs, or surgery. They are liars and thieves. Exploiting the spirit of feminine power. Assholes if you will. But I will save that subject for later.

When I was in Paris, one thing was clear: Everyone notices what you wear, how you present yourself. You don't have to wear the latest trend or the most expensive things. Detail is always noticed by everyone in the subway car, on the street, in the cafe. Eyes are on you, and so it makes you think carefully about the choices you make before going out. Even the oldest, most frail people are out walking. Why do we never see old people here? In Paris the oldest ladies will wear a beautiful scarf to fit the mood of the day.

Lingerie. Sigh. Oh My. The Galleries Lafayette now has 26,000 square feet for it's lingerie department. I am not kidding. I spent more time there than I did in the Louvre. And when I go back I will do that again. Not just to buy but to have a front row seat in the theater of man woman relations. The sweetness of seeing couples there, some old, some young, the man taking a serious look at the structure and design of each thing, and choosing items perfect for his paramour. Oh how different, how normal, how darling.

When I started dancing I was of the khaki crowd I think. Very quickly the closet became a side chapel in the church of tango. Shoes ready, lined up beside the row of dresses and tunics, slips, leggings, lace, thrift store finds. When someone is noticing it makes a difference, and people in tango tend to live in the moment, to notice, to receive. Sex, it isn't just sex. I guess that is the discovery that American women might need to make? It's a beginning anyway. To ignore one's inner diva, the beauty that is there by nature, is really to deny the gifts we have been given. The same spirit which allows us to make a good meal, to nurse the baby, to be a friend, to braid the child's hair before she goes off to school, to love a man. To bring all the energy to the tango. A woman is sexy, it is not important what form she is in, or what age she is. I think that is what I want to say, but I am not sure I am able to do it. Yet.