When I am working as I am now, in process mode, or R&D (research and development), I come head to head with a strange problem. There are basically two inputs into the work. Things come from an internal mythology, a personal kind of mark making, mixed up with an individualized visual language coming from years of doing things a certain way. Then there is another side made up of interpretation of the world, the lake that I see every day, light, nature, the sky right here. Not at all magic, but then, in every way magic.
The two inputs, wishing to become outputs, fight with me a little for dominance. Maybe eventually, or maybe already, they blend a little. I talked with an artist friend this week who knew exactly what I was dealing with, and although he had no answers for me, he had answers for himself, which are obvious in his work. Anyway, just writing it down, and talking about it, is useful in sorting out the direction.
I want to compare this to dancing, and it may be a far reach, but I feel it there too. I move a certain way, the inborn, personal way which is not style, and not learned, but is innate. Then I have the learned ways to interpret tango (as a follower) based on some real and proved right way to do that as based on what has been seen and done in the past....Having awareness of both is good, but crazy making. At least with my artwork, I am the only one in charge.