Comments on Working Artist: Breaking Even

I agree with Stephanie that people quit because th...

2009-07-18T23:34:29.556-07:00

I agree with Stephanie that people quit because they don't find someone to dance with and I also feel that I would never want to date a fellow dancer. They are much better places to find a better date than in milongas.

I don't agree with what you wrote. It is nicely p...

2009-07-17T16:40:34.948-07:00

I don't agree with what you wrote.

It is nicely put but it does not reflect why I quit Tango for a few months (I have come back since) and what I read in the survey.

The survey shows clearly that a lot of people find the atmosphere unpleasant and I can hear my sister tell me how uncomfortable she felt whenever her husband and her would go to a milonga in L.A. Now that she has seen a few in Montreal she can tell that the tango scene is very different from what she knew there.

People also quit because they don't find someone to dance with. That does not necessarily mean to date! I am happily single and would never want to date a fellow dancer. I dance for tango and a relationship with a dancer could change my dancing.... However, I find VERY challengind to register for classes without a steady DANCE partner and I have spent many milongas not dancing at all.

I have actively been fighting the tango snobs in my community and it's not easy but I do it relentlessly. I engage regularly with people who look new and lost. I dance willingly with complete beginners and try to be encouraging because Tango is a gift and it is best shared. When I see an advanced dancer laugh at beginners I correct them and appeal to their souvenirs of what it was to start.

I have been a runner for 15 years, yoga for 10, ballet for 10, I'm not a quitter and I have been paying my tango "dues" several times a week. Nevertheless, it's still hard and I still pray everytime I leave for a milonga for a pleasant evening, nothing earth-shattering, just one good tanda and a little conversation.... it does not happen every time....

Arlene, We worked it out this way: We agree that ...

2009-07-17T11:23:45.832-07:00

Arlene, We worked it out this way:
We agree that we are not always learning or enthusing about tango in the same way. So we each go on our own tango journey. But what a mine field for new relationships!

You are so right on everything you said. Are you ...

2009-07-17T10:00:01.600-07:00

You are so right on everything you said. Are you sure you are not from NJ? Are the women really like that on the West Coast?
I have a new partner and he does not dance Tango. My heart sunk when he told me that he would like to learn so he could dance with me. I did not give him an answer that he was happy with. I told him to start with Ceroc and see from there. I am GLAD he does not dance Tango. I do not go as often, but I am ok with that. I am also at a loss as to where he would learn and who from as I am not sure the teachers in his area are that good. He lives outside of London. I also like to dance to other music. Some people treat the milongas like a dating service. It ain't gonna happen, and if it does, it is a rare thing so don't hold your breath. And who cares about the people? As long as you are nice and pleasant does it really matter to belong in a little group? All I care about is the music and the dancing and since I dance with men...

Such wise words Elizabeth. There is a lot of truth...

2009-07-17T05:07:47.074-07:00

Such wise words Elizabeth. There is a lot of truth in them.

Frances, me too!

2009-07-15T09:20:11.164-07:00

Frances, me too!

Frances, I would like to have permission to read y...

2009-07-15T09:10:10.254-07:00

Frances, I would like to have permission to read your blog. Email me?
E

Cherie,TP,Frances, Modern,Johanna,Henry, Mari: Tha...

2009-07-15T09:02:18.793-07:00

Cherie,TP,Frances, Modern,Johanna,Henry, Mari:
Thanks to all of you for reading a rather long entry. Looking later at the commentary at the end of Clay Nelson's survey I was starting to think there is something very "off" about the survey and the respondents, something not adding up. In any case though, it brought forth the thoughts that I wanted to express about the commitment that tango requires. And it provided the chance to convey the idea that you can't go around expecting to take a few lessons and then have a wonderful tango life. I am grateful to my first teachers for making that much very clear. But all of you already know that!

oh thank you thank you thank you for posting that!...

2009-07-14T19:18:36.235-07:00

oh thank you thank you thank you for posting that!!!

I have felt the same emotion recently, and have th...

2009-07-14T17:19:14.093-07:00

I have felt the same emotion recently, and have thought about taking a break from tango.

Such a profound and honest post. And so very, ver...

2009-07-14T17:17:50.135-07:00

Such a profound and honest post. And so very, very true.

Mil gracias, Elizabeth. This is a great knock on ...

2009-07-14T13:47:02.546-07:00

Mil gracias, Elizabeth. This is a great knock on the head and a reality check and just a good thing to read.

I wish I could say it out loud for everyone to hea...

2009-07-14T12:31:33.323-07:00

I wish I could say it out loud for everyone to hear, like you did. I do not seem to have the courage to challenge other people's unrealistic expectations. You are my hero. Many thanks for posting!

E, Bravo!!!!!!!!! I couldn't agree with you more....

2009-07-14T12:31:31.960-07:00

E, Bravo!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't agree with you more. Sometimes I think a lot of people haven't paid their dues in tango, yet they ask for a lot.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" Thank y...

2009-07-14T12:08:37.011-07:00

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

Thank you for expressing my thoughts so well.